"Tu Me Manques!"

Maybe, it's because a couple of quality friends I have known for a little over half of my life are getting married this Sunday, and I won't be there. Maybe it's because at one point in time I was trying to decide if I should go to Paris or The Netherlands this weekend (sure...there was no way I would NOT have ample distraction from being sad about missing the Hubbell-Jordan wedding) and yet somehow both of those trips fell through. Maybe it's because I have never gone a whole month without seeing my nephews and nieces and there's this little ache in my elbows that only they could ease. (But believe me, these Perry kiddos are stealing my heart quickly also!) :) Maybe it's because I was looking at some pictures on Facebook that my cousin Rebekah posted of Jennifer's [her big sister and my almost twin cousin :)] birthday party and I saw that my Uncle Chris and his family (whom I haven't seen in forever) were there and I was thinking how much I would have loved to see their family and catch up. Maybe, it's cause I miss my whole family. And my dog. I actually really miss Baxter. And even crazy Lucifer actually. (My parent's dog Lucy. Poor thing. She's actually a pretty endearing little girl but Lucifer was just too obvious and my dad's reaction too hilarious...) Or maybe I could just really go for a Pumpkin Spice Latte with a whole list of friends at Starbucks right now. Sitting them down one right after another and keep good company and liquid gold coming sounds great! Or, most probably I suppose my emotions are just playing a not-so-friendly match of ping-pong.

But for whatever combination of reason, I found myself having my first "Ohmygosh! Lindy! YOU MOVED TO GERMANY...for A YEAR!!! And who knows what God has up His sleeve for next fall!!" moment tonight. As I'm trying to fall asleep it seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks. The timing isn't very nice, either because it's getting close to midnight here in Stuttgart. (Inspiration: you and I have GOT to quit meeting like this...I am a morning person. What gives?) 

Please don't get me wrong. I am happy to be here, I am really glad I came and all is well. Honestly. But, like Pat said once (the guy is pretty smart actually, in case you didn't know.) :) "If you want to be successful and make things happen in your life, you're going to have to sacrifice some things. You can't have everything the same time." (Or at least I think it went something like that.) So I guess sometimes the things that you're sacrificing stand out to you more than others and right now happens to be one. And I am not saying that the sacrifices aren't going to pay off or be worth it. But I am saying it can be a little hard to distract yourself sometimes after the initial arrival. 

It's also obvious what's going to happen however this crazy escapade ends: I am going to miss this whole crazy Perry family like mad. It's been a blessing to actually be able to live with the family of one of my only cousins I never really got the chance to know closely because we never lived close. I will be reliving everything through pictures and storytelling. I will hope for the chance to see the friends I will make again. I will daydream of a life that had such fluid motion and was so free of ties that I could pick up and move across the world. The grass is always greener I suppose. And so goes the lesson of contentment. I think the secret of being content (besides the whole Philippians 4:13 bit...good call Apostle Paul...) is being mature enough to see the joys and sadness in each situation, but focusing on the joys because you know that you know you are where God wants you anyways. Woah. That's fairly profound for this time of night. :)

It's late. Now it is now well after midnight. I need to get some sleep. But I knew my mind wouldn't stop unless I just wrote what it was thinking. :) So, now I leave you with this little pin I stumbled upon on Pinterest.... :)