But it's not just that. I don't know if anyone else has noticed that especially this summer, the world has kinda been trying to fall apart on us. ISIS. Ebola. Furgeson. I hear about tragic stories like that of a young woman named Brittney only a couple of years older than me who is terminally ill, and choosing to take her own life via physician assisted suicide. General political unrest, loss, affliction, and persecution globally to be honest.
So yeah. I'm feeling pretty homesick for Heaven these days. I long for the place I was made for- to be in the arms of The One I've been created by. I long for Gods kingdom to be fully realized. I ache for restoration, healing and perfect, peaceful rest. The kind of rest and peace that sinks to your bones and floods your heart. I cry out for tastes of the victory that has been won- now.
I feel so small sometimes, like I have no influence over the things that happen in life. To an extent, it's true, none of us really have control....total control always belongs to God.
Yet even in resting in that knowledge death, illness and tragady will always feel wrong. It doesn't matter how old the one who dies is, what kind of illness it is or how great the tragedy is. It's wrong. Because I think deep in our hearts as mankind God has set eternity in us and we all know we were made for more. We were made for more than fearing a war and terror stricken world. More than fearing epidemics. More than fearing death- be it natural, and later in life like my grandpa or too early and a result of tragic disease like Brittney. We were made for triumph, everlasting joy, and greatness. We were created for Eden. But right now we grieve the loss of Eden, and feel like we have no control over anything that happens between now and it's restoration.
But, that's party a lie, and there IS something I do have control over: my legacy. All these thoughts swirl in my mind and I keep coming back to legacies. I want my life to matter and count. I keep considering what I can do in this life today that's actually going to matter, live longer than me and what I want to be remembered for, and what I want my trademarks to be.
I want to be known for my love, because I have been radically loved. I want to be courageous - because there isn't much else besides that love I've been shown that can draw out the kind of courage I need to do life in such a way that I invest my life in what actually matters- rather than spending it...biding my time till Heaven. I want to live selflessly, sacrificially, in a way that challenges the status quo. I don't want to get to comfortable here. Wait. That's not true. Actually- I do want to get comfortable, and that's my problem. But worse than my comfort I want to live in light of Eternity, wringing out my life for Christ, constantly pouring out so that He can refill me. I want to trust implicitly and be relentlessly hopeful and selfless. I want my hardships, pain and affliction to be opportunities to display Christs sufficiency in my life- not something to beg and wish away. I want my vision to clear and my view of eternity to be unobscured- starting now. What that looks like, and what I can tangibly do to make that happen I'm still sorting out and mulling over. All I know is that it's go time. And life is precious, and tomorrow isn't promised. I want live my life in such a way to cause people -myself included!- to question their doubts in God.
Jesus help me be a good steward of my time, money, energy, talents and resources. They're yours, so let me use them well. Let me be proof of Your love...
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