Haven't we been here before?

Since before I even found out I was going to move, I would sometimes  think  about a really cool perspective my Uncle shared with my brother Craig one time. It's the "Assignment Vs. Calling" theory. The assignment theory is a perspective that sometimes, God's plans are often revealed in small parts, and is incredibly practical, day-to-day, nitty-gritty and focused on the moment. The calling theory focuses more on the future and is more general and broad. For instance, my calling from God on my life is to take care of people who can't take care of themselves, and help and advocate for them. I have felt that very strongly and obviously since I was first working in the Caregiving/CNA field. God made it obvious that people and helping them was my nitch. Well that's pretty broad and you can look at that lot of different ways, but I know that's why God had me wake up today - to help care for people. So, out of that calling, my assignment for 3 years was to be a CNA/Caregiver, now my new assignment is as an Au Pair. They both fall under the same calling, and have a lot in common, but it just looks different. For somebody else, maybe their calling was more specific and they knew from a young age that they needed to be a pastor, a doctor or teacher. So their calling was a pastor, doctor or politician, but their assignments may change and take them to lots of different people and communities as they serve in different churches, hospitals, or schools. If any of that makes sense. 

So anyways, that's the perspective I have been trying to adopt this whole time, that I am on a mission, on an assignment from God that is filed under His broader calling on my life. So I have been kind of wrestling with this this whole time, trying so hard not to ask too many questions, think too hard, or look too far down the road. I just want to trust. Anyways I was just telling that to God: that I have been struggling with letting go of knowing and wanting to have some type of idea of what's ahead. And He reminded me that the plans have already been made, and set into motion. They were since before time. He knew me (and His plans) before I was conceived. (You know....God being all infinite and everything...) He reminded me that the plans are there, but they just haven't been revealed yet. Also, if I can trust and fully believe that He has wonderful things in store for me, than those things would include His timing right? And what do I have to loose? Am I really in a hurry anyways? 

I was reminded of  Gods humbling promises in Jeremiah 29:11-13: "...For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..."

So. God knows the plans for my life, and if He has promised that His plans will ALWAYS work out for hope and my future. Hope doesn't always mean easy, or simple. Hope doesn't mean I get to be spoiled and have most things my way. But it does mean God is in my corner and working in my eternal best interest. Hope does mean that God is using all His plans in my life to make me complete one day in Him. It does mean that because I have His promise, I will not be disappointed in the end. 

So now, I think I just maybe have my head partially wrapped around such a radical promise, I remember the rest of the promise. And that I have so far to go! God promises to be present when we call and hear us when we pray. Perfect...that's awesome. But it's verse 13 that's the kicker for me. "You will seek me and FIND me when you seek me with all of your heart..." At first I was thinking "Okay, brilliant! But what do I do to seek You?! How do I make that happen as much as possible in my life? What does that look like in my daily life and right now?" THEN I read back to verse 12 and find my answer: Prayer. 1:1 time with Christ. And then, I fee convicted. How many minutes do I spend thinking about things that I never needed to worry about rather than praying over them? How many times do I miss a chance to see through the eyes of Christ, if I only slowed down and prayed? How many encouraging words do I miss giving because I haven't been praying and asking God to show me who needs that encouragement? Who have I intended to carve out time to pray for, yet forget to take those moments? 

I suppose it's the ever raging battle for anyone who wants to get real and purposeful about following Christ. It only makes sense. If the Enemy can cut me off from my prayer life, or at least an effective and quality one, and distract me long enough, He's won. In so many ways it shakes me to my core. He doesn't have to win battles by sins of commission. He is just as happy to have a victory due to sins of omission. Christ calls us to living with an eternal perspective, one that gives and lives in abundance with Heaven and Christ our Goal. Satan wants us focused on ourselves and on this life. Think about it: Why would he waste his time tempting us to commit some raunchy, scandalous sin we would take a long time to fall for, when he can tempt us with a thousand ones that are only more socially acceptable and we don't even realize we are being tempted? Both can cause just as great of a wedge between us and Christ.  

So, I guess right now, this week, I am realizing I that in all the craziness of life, and this move I've gotten distracted. There have been moments I have been groping in the dark for a hint of what's next, when I should have been sitting at His feet being still waiting for His reply. I guess I am realizing, that I probably could have received a lot more peace, more contentment and maybe even some answers if I'd just shut up, slow down and listen. So I'm thankful God is still teaching me so much, because He has a long ways to go. And if I know me, He will have to either spend excruciating amounts of time on one lesson, or keep going back to that lesson. Wait. Who am I kidding?! It's probably going to be both!!! :)