About Belonging.

You may not know this about me, but I'm not nor have I ever been remotely close to being married. (Sarcasm, guys. C'mon. Get it!) :) I'm not in a relationship. And actually, I don't know many other mid-20-somethings who are as completely inexperienced in romantic relationships as I am. Even if they're single, I can't think of many other people who have absolutely NO experience in the dating and marriage scene. But even so, I actually feel like I've learned so much over the years by observation of what healthy relationships look like, and I will have some good mental notes and directions to revisit if God decides to lead me down that path one day. I know a lot about myself, and  I think I will know a good thing when it happens, and how to keep it happening. 

But one thing that I notice with all the healthy relationships that I've seen is that there's a sense of belonging and even ownership for eachother. Not in a nasty, I'm-now-going-to-treat-you-like-a-dominant-objectifying-jerk way. What I've seen is ownership for one another in the opposite, most loving way. I've seen ownership in the sense that you tie your life equally to theirs. You work, play, fight, get bored, excited, happy, and sad together. You make the other person's problems, joys, hurts and struggles yours. You trust and care for the other person in ways that nothing will get in your way of trusting and caring for them. They are safe, they are refreshing, they are comfortable and they are familiar. It's the type of belonging that happens when a person becomes home.  

This Sweet Savior overwhelms, woos and steals my heart all over again. He not only offers, but deeply craves this kind of tie with me. I know myself too well. I don't deserve that by a long shot. I struggle hard with really believing Him and this true and unquenchable desire of His. I find my prayers including things like "Really Lord? You mean You're not tired of me by now? Cause I am. Oh to have Your patience for myself...."

But you know what? Anything less than taking seriously and actively believing that Jesus is stop-at-nothing-crazy about you is a lie from Hell itself. That's the kind of place The Enemy wants us in. He wants us groveling for our grace when we don't have to. Jesus doesn't and would never ask us to, Satan does. Jesus invites and desires us. Jesus gives us the right to just walk right up to Him and crawl up in His lap. He shed His blood so we wouldn't have to grovel, not believing that and groveling anyways doesn't make things better or you more worthy - it only cheapens His blood. Just like couples belong to and have the right to each other, Christ offers us that same right. Giving us those rights was such a big deal to Him it cost Him His life. Can somebody else please tell me that also gives them chills? Cause I know it can't just be me. 

I am fighting against lies that are about being tolerated instead of pursued in the most valiant of ways. I am learning to take His word to the bank when it tells me things like I am chosen, righteous through Him, delighted in, and He is in my midst. I am trying to figure out how to accept, rejoice and fully participate in God's rich grace for me. Cause I need that grace daily. Hourly. Every second. Its a grace I am constantly finding new depths to. Because those depths of grace -with Him- is where I belong.