Every Day People.

*origionally written this last summer, 6.21.2010*


i still don't know what i wanna do when i grow up. i've got a couple of insperations and game plans and i'm just waiting for God to push me over the edge definitely one way or the other.

i love what i do now. being a caregiver/cna is one of the most rewarding jobs i can imagine having, and it's a great fit for me. but i still feel torn. part of me says "well hey! why not make a career outta that? it matches my life's calling, i love it, it's fufilling and rewarding, i can financially support myself well, AND i love going to work every day! AND BONUS: i could save huge amounts of time and money invested in college! most people only hope for a few of those things!" but the other part of me tells me i could further my training, education, experience, ect. if i went back to school for more than just my vo-tech training as a cna. so at that point i almost feel convicted that that would mean setteling and just getting by, and that going back to school could help me reach more potential and i could be used in bigger ways.

and that's one of my life's biggest determinations: to never settle for anything less than God's best, how He can use me the most, and how i can reach my biggest potential in Him. to suck the marrow out of life, and in turn pour back out all the gifts and blessings He's given me to others.

i basically was explaining these things to my mom earlier tonight, and we were just talking about things, dreams, future hopes, callings, and posablities.

but then on my drive home tonight - my favorite prayer times and biggest ah-haaaa moments from The Lord always seem to happen when i'm all alone in the car...apparently God likes to speak to me in the still, not-so-small sound of my car's motor?? :) - aaanyywayyyys... i realized: DIDN'T JESUS SETTLE? that almost sounds weired to say it. and it should. because the answer to that is both yes and no. please, allow me to explain before you give me any more weired looks. :)

first let me say, no, of course Jesus never settled for less than The Fathers perfect plan. He found His fufillment, worth, identity, restoration, and lifes calling in His Heavenly Father and Heaven's Backwards Economics.
Heaven's Backwards Economics...*that's* where things get a little crazy, and where the answer becomes, in part, yes. Jesus, Son of God, came to earth to romance a violently repulsive and rebelious lover who eventually would thank Him for His dangerous, reckless, all-conquering, irrational, relentless, awe-inspiring love by condemning Him to a criminal butchering on a cross. -- The Son of Man. Shaper of the Stars. Almighty. Creator-God. so you could say He settled in that regard. He humbled Himself and simplified life just to love. He deserved the finest we had to offer. the best we could afford. every comfort, every affection and safety. He deserved to be treated like the God and Jewel He is. but that wasn't the plan. the plan was for Him to...grow up, ruffel a bunch of religious, ritualistic feathers. offer scandalous grace and healing....to EVERYONE. for Him to simply Love. to step into gross, squishy things barefoot. to breathe our air. to drink our water. to get sick sometimes. to get mad. for Him to offer Hope. for Him to experience loss and pain of death. for Him to start a revolution of peace and joy that this world so badly needs. His mission was to be human, He experienced and carried every feeling, thought, struggle and emotion that ALL OF MANKIND in all of Creation would experience. all before age 33, all before that horrible death.

BUT from an etearnal perspective? Jesus never settled once. He used His time on our dirty, unworthy, inhospitable earth to love and change the world. one person. one heart. one word. one healing. one deed. one act of kindness and mercy. one smile. one "i see you, i know you, i choose you, and I LOVE YOU. in spite of it all. PROMISE."..... at a time. His food was to do the will of the Father. He didn't need a doctorate degree for that. He didn't need a 6 didget salary to do that. He didn't need a whole bunch of training and schooling to do that. good grief. He didn't even have a home or pillow for that. all He needed was a battlecry, mission and vision from the Father. everything else took care of itself.

and to carry on His work? He left that in the capable hands of a whole wide range of people! ranging from a doctor to a fishermen. some of His deciples were incredibly simple people. no doctorate degree. no six didget salary. not even amazing reputations. but none of that mattered. cause it was the Spirit moving and living in them. it wasn't about any of the worlds standards of success that mattered. it was about deticating their lives to a calling bigger than themselves. it was about following after Jesus and trying to get others to become Family Members. not about their education. not about how hard they worked, or how well they were trained in their job. not about how much money they could make...even if they were going to give it away. their potential, success and lives were based soley on how the Spirit lived, moved and spoke through them. you dont need any money, any training or a carreer to introduce others to Jesus and be Jesus to others.

it's so reassuring to know that Gods plan for my life can be big or simple. well educated or not. prestigus or not. well known to others or not. well trained or not. well paying or not. glamorous or not. all that matters is that i'm chasing what God has called me to. and for me, my life-calling is that of an emotional, spiritual, and physical caregiver. to dive into awkward, ugly and painful situations with people. to be strong for the weak. an advocate for people who can't advocate for themselves. to not shy away from needy people. to be welcoming and warm to all. to live sacrificially. to look for ways to make others lives easier. okay....who am i kidding about the glamorus part? :) meh, i don't really care. bring it on....cause i would have it no other way. ;)

and i don't need a six didget slary or doctorate degree for that. :)

so i'll stop talking and leave with two amazing quotes from an amazing lady which sum up what i intend to do:

"do not worry about your career. instead concern yourself with your vocation. and that is to be lovers of Jesus." - mother teresa

"there are calcutas every where. and everyone has a calcuta. find your calcuta." - mother teresa